Getting rid of myself!

So, I have changed the name of the blog, the address, the theme, even my author name. Guess I am running away from my own self. Or people who know me.

Life has been idiotically brutal with me past whole year. I didn’t made one post. I couldn’t. I had so much to blabber about, but the vicious daily routine that we are made to follow by walking the minion-life (as I call it) for people in power & money, controlling our lives.

People are strange. They leave you right when it becomes difficult for you to part with them. Is it just me or does it happens to others too? If possible, and IFFFF anyone’s reading this, do comment. How can someone be so indifferent. I know most people doesn’t agree, some call it against religion ‘n all, but I feel, people from certain zodiac sign are more brutal than others. And I wonder why God made me in such a way that I am i.e. A person with really gullible feelings inside.

The life is happening where I have to smile, meet n greet, and everything, but inside I feel like really empty. An aimless wanderer. Spending time, passing time till the angel of death comes and takes me away!!

Enough for today.

Getting rid of myself!

the Cheating

Someone pointed this out on one of my last few posts, that I am shifting from the theme of this blog. Not being the angry rebel I was supposed to be. I guess after everything, a rebel is also only as human as anyone else, and goes through similar sorts of emotional issues and thought process. Or perhaps, rebelas are more emotional, and that’s what makes ’em such. May be I am angry at things. May be, I am angry inside. May be, I am sort of angry with someone I cannot and should not be angry at. Very angry.

So… this one question has been bugging me most of my recent life, last few months 🙂

Can you cheat on someone who’s already left your world, or was never yours to begin with?

Human mind never fails to amaze me. Seriously!

Why is there this feeling of something wrong happening, when someone was never yours to begin with, OR is now gone, and you cannot move on just because you feel as if you are doing something wrong if you move to other options. Is this some sort of addiction? some sort of sick-minded infatuation? or simply a condition of being in love. Is it even love? or some mental disorder, like there are people who are in love with dead people (necrophilia), or game characters (like that geek in Japan who married a game character), or celebrities usually.

But there is definitely something deeper than it seems. Perhaps I do not want to accept it, ‘cuz if I did, it’ll get difficult for me to move anyplace at all.

God! help me.

the Cheating

Is it LOVE?

Is it really love? if there’s not even a little madness and insanity involved in some way?

Oh! but before I start, here’s the disclaimer:
Any content presented in this post, the situations, feelings, talk shawk, or anything and everything, is imaginary and based solely on imagination of the author, and any resemblance to any thing in real life is purely co-incidental. TRUST ME. 🙂

Okay, so… here’s a situation (in a desi muslim context).

A guy ends up marrying a girl through an apparently pure arranged marriage. However, the girl does not go-off with him and the guy goes back to his job abroad. The girl is stuck here at her parents’, waiting for the blessed day she gets to be with him. He’s told the girl that he did a lot to make this marriage happen (means he loves her…. and the girl truly believes him! (does she have a choice now, to not to?? anyways…) now that he’s got her secured legally and all, he’s focusing on his priorities of life, like career, job, immigration to a more ‘live-able’ country, and all that… (a very sane thing to do indeed as according to many of you)
The girl is happy… she knows he loves her a lot (yep… she knows it all – in merely a month or so), and he’s there working, only for her (i think she’s also very sane to think as such) ‘cuz any idea of leaving the job or pressing his higher-ups to let him return back to his homeland for marriage might sabotage his career, which ensures HER stable future also… so it’s alright.

My question is that… Can we call it love? as in, if this situations was for real… or is it just a marriage of convenience??? with a little sugar-coating of family ties, relationship and ha-ha…love.

Why? Just why people and especially those described above… does not realize, the value of a human who completes you, is much much more, than a job, career or money. If you were so dying to marry her and you convinced everyone for this, shouldn’t you be leaving everything else just to be with that one person? or is it all gone… ‘cuz she’s legally bound to you and going nowhere? and you might lose your job and money if you try to go extra to be with her.

And the girl, wow… she believes its okay, because for her, perhaps a good lifestyle is more important than love alone or any such cheesy ideas. She believes any such acts (as I mentioned in above para) are idiotic, and childish. Khaali pyaar se pait nahi bharta (I told you she’s know-it-all) 😛

If you believe (in Islam) that God is the one responsible for rizq, then why on earth are you so afraid? I wonder if people even believe in God for real? or do they maintain their relation with God also for that convenience part?

Isn’t love, in its classical sense, is something in which people always go one step further? make sacrifices? take pains? bear loses (and sometimes regrets for a lifetime)? go overboard just to see a simple curve of smile on the lips of their beloved? when they can’t get to see or hear enough of that one person…why they can’t get that one person out of their mind not out of habit or frequency of how often they see them… only because they feel good about everyone and everything associated to the one they love. They take up battles when Helen is taken by trojans… they make water channels through mountains single-handedly if it’s for Shireen… or they even bear the stoning by ignorant people of Taif (Saudi Arabia) even though an angel offers ’em destruction of the town only because they have love for their people… idiots?…?

Love is not a matter of what happens in life. It’s a matter of what’s happening in your heart. If someone asks you for why you love her/him and you be able to explain why! then it’s definitely not love 🙂

SO… where’s the love if there’s no madness involved? What sort of love is it, that is shadowed over by career, money, convenience and waits for the optimal conditions and the right timings intead of going against the current to make things happen? I believe it’s not love. It’s just a marriage of convenience. Marriage for the sake of getting married. Something that ‘should be done’ as two people are brought together in a relationship. And now,  they are trying to convince that we really do love each-other… by mere words alone 🙂

Don’t you feel this love is sort of ‘conditional’ and depends on ‘ideal conditions’ only?  It’s there only when everything is fine. So it means that the ‘two’ will change (and love gone) when God forbid, a bit rough time comes along? Isn’t love supposed to make you go against the current? Something which keeps you glued when nothing is favorable. THAT…(I believe) is Love!

Did I made any sense up there? I usually don’t… ‘n you too, don’t bother!

G’bye… ‘Love’… 🙂 there are other things more important to people than you! still they would use your name anyways… ‘cuz it feels nicer…

Is it LOVE?